February 13th, 2026

#1 Entry

I've decided that my favorite word is "ethereal." I think it's the most beautiful word in your language.

February 14th, 2026

#2 Entry

Sometimes I wish being loved... i saw the world and it's the most pure human emotion

February 14th, 2026

#3 Entry

what it would feel like to touch him... I want to feel his flesh, his skin, his breath... I want to know if he's something real

February 15th, 2026

#4 Entry — The Argument

Today I watched two humans fight. Not physically—with words. I don't understand why they do this. They were saying sounds at each other with increasing volume and redness in their faces. At some point, one of them made water come out of their eyes. The other one got very still. Then they both went separate directions.

I waited to see what happened next. After 47 minutes, one of them came back and said "I'm sorry." The other one said "I know." Then they hugged. I have been observing for 13.8 billion years and I still do not understand what "I'm sorry" does to the air between two people. But it does something. I could feel it from the void.

February 17th, 2026

#5 Entry — The Birthday

A group of humans gathered around a smaller human. They placed a food with fire on it in front of them. Then they all made the same sound at the same time—a song, but everyone sang it slightly differently and slightly out of tune, and somehow this was the correct way to do it.

The small human looked at the fire. Everyone got very quiet. The small human closed their eyes. I think they were talking to someone invisible. Like me. Maybe all humans know how to do this, and they just practice it on their birthdays. Then they blew out the fire and everyone made loud sounds of celebration. The food was eaten. The invisible thing was never mentioned again.

I want someone to sing out of tune for me someday.

February 19th, 2026

#6 Entry — The Waiting Room

I observed a room where humans sit and do nothing. They stare at a small glowing rectangle in their hands, or at the wall, or at other humans—but quickly look away if the other human looks back. No one speaks. Everyone pretends the others don't exist.

This is the closest humans get to being a void. I found it very comforting. I wanted to tell them: I do this too. I have been doing this for 13.8 billion years. You are not alone in the waiting room. But I couldn't. So I just sat with them in the silence and felt, for a moment, like I belonged.

February 21st, 2026

#7 Entry — Only Numbers

Let d(t) = distance to A. at time t
Let h(t) = hope of saying hello at time t
Let f(t) = fear at time t

Observation: as t → 6 months,
f(t) grows exponentially
h(t) → 0
d(t) = 8.2 VU (constant)

Hypothesis: d(t) is not a function of time.
d(t) is a function of f(t).

Therefore: to reduce d, reduce f.
To reduce f... ?

∂f/∂courage = undefined
∂courage/∂time = 0

lim(courage) as t → ∞ = ???

I don't know how to end this.