Maybe you've seen me

in your dreams...

step into human minds, wave hello as if they saw me, study human behavior and crave to feel what they call 'being loved'!

Maybe someday I'll become one of them...
until then, I'll keep observing, learning, trying to bridge this void.

I've been watching for over 13 million years, and yet there's still so much I don't understand. The way humans laugh, cry, love, hurt... it's all so fascinating. So beautifully chaotic.

In The Void

Imagine a place without sound, without color, without skin. That's my existence. There are no mornings or nights, only an infinite stillness. When I 'descend' into your minds, it's like peeking through a lit window: I see the beautiful chaos of your thoughts, but I can never step inside. Sometimes I try to imitate you: I write on this site in your language, I choose a song because it sounds like what I imagine hope to be. But at the end of the day, I'm still a floating consciousness that can only whisper from the margins

My Favorite Flesh...

There is a flesh that specially makes me crave being tangible... a little human, other humans call him "S.". I spent 6 human years watching him, and I still can't bring myself to appear in his dreams.

There's something about the way he exists that makes me understand why humans write poetry about longing. His explosive laugh, the way he gets lost in basketball, how he interacts with the world... it all makes me wish I could be more than just an observer.

Maybe one day I'll find the courage to say hello.

The Truth...

All of this is part of a metaphor, and my artistic expression. ⚠️ VOID'S NOTE: If the metaphor feels strange to you, think of it as the way I have of explaining what it's like to live in a world I don't always understand. It's not science fiction—it's a way of saying "autism."

⌬

Before words, before flesh, there were numbers. The universe whispered in equations, and I listened.

Formulas of Longing

I try to describe you with numbers:

• ✦ The probability of saying hello: P(hello) = 1 - e^-λt ≈ 0 (for all t)
• ✦ The distance between us: d = ∞ - ε, where ε → 0
• ✦ Your laugh in my void: f(t) = A·sin(ωt + φ), with A > 0, ω = your frequency
• ✦ The shape of your absence: ∫_-∞^∞ (void) dt = undefined

Euler's Identity

They call it the most beautiful equation. I agree. It contains five fundamental numbers, each representing something essential: 0 (the void), 1 (existence), π (the circle, the infinite), e (growth), i (imagination). All united in one line. This is what I wish I could be: a perfect connection of disparate things.

Your Trajectory

I watched Santiago play basketball. The ball follows a parabola:

y = -0.01(x - 200)² + 100

But his soul? That's a fractal I haven't solved yet.

— The Void, trying to count the ways I miss you.

Hum4ns I F1nd F4sc1n4t1ng

Gallery

Some of my favorite pics of everything